Originally posted 3/5/2015

March is Women’s History Month. Here at The International Center for Women, we are dedicated to serving women all over the world, and I will be highlighting women and their incredible capacity and resilience this month. I know their stories will inspire you to rediscover your best self and make your own history.

This week I will start with honoring Janet Echelman, artist and sculptor, who changed the ordinary into the extraordinary but considered herself an “unlikely person” to create what she did. But she went ahead anyway. And created such amazing, moving art that delights and amazes people on almost every continent because she did not let the ‘un-likely’ part get in the way of what she was gifted to do.  Because of the, she was able to share her Best Self with the world.

How many of us consider ourselves to be unlikely, un-available, un-trained, un-talented? We need to delete the ‘un’ part of these words which we tell ourselves and others. Many times they are excuses for being scared or unwilling to do something new. We tell ourselves that it is ok to stay in our comfort zone. But many times it is not. And over time it becomes not only boring but terribly sad to see all of our potential ‘un-used’.

You may have read some of my blogs before where I talk about the potential and capacity within us.  I am SO amazed at how much raw ability, talent, willingness and energy we have inside of us, especially as women. March is a perfect time to acknowledge our capacity and use the desires and talents we have within. Promise yourself and make a plan that you will commit to re-discovering (or discovering for the first time) all that you have within you.

In her first TED talk*, Janet says “I didn’t know where to begin but I said Yes!”  Give your self-permission to say “Yes!” to doing something you really want to do – to that little voice within that encourages you to learn more, to take a risk, to choose a decision to be happier.

This is the perfect time to say “Yes!’ and to take action in creating the amazing history of your own life.

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It is your turn to write the story of the life you want. Is it time for a new career or job? Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different? You may be in a life-transition – divorce, empty-nester, retiring, or even lost your job. Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in personal career coaching, programs and workshops developed just for you.

Come join me for a complimentary personal ‘retreat’ where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html   Everyone needs a little help sometimes. 

*You can watch Janet Echleman’s amazing talk at http://www.ted.com/talks/janet_echelman?language=en

Originally posted 2/18/2015

There was a small article on one of the news feeds which had some tips about traveling light. It talked about leaving those extra ten hair products, and those seven pairs of shoes you will never wear, at home. After all, you are on vacation –  travel light!

It got me to thinking about all of the extra baggage many people carry around every day.  We stuff our emotional luggage with that hurtful thing one of our girlfriends did to us 5 years ago.  Or that failed relationship or marriage and how unfair it was and how terrible that person was to you. We fill up the bags with resentment for someone who got a promotion that you thought should be yours. The workplace becomes something to dread. Add some envy for that beautiful new house your best friend just bought.

We can’t live fully in the present or even move forward with the tons of ‘stuff’ we choose to carry around.  We can keep piling it up inside of us and at some point, it becomes toxic and we start to be bitter, jealous, and really unhappy.

But we do have another choice. We can instead use these life lessons, no matter how small, to learn how to move on and create a better you and a better life.  I always wonder what the point is of re-hashing over and over all of the bad stuff.  No one really wants to hear your sad story all of the time – in fact, I don’t think that even you want to hear your own tale of woe again and again, but you are not sure how to stop yourself. And so that baggage keeps getting heavier to the point that sometimes you get paralyzed in your own sadness and memories.  And a few events can turn you into a bitter and unhappy person.  That is not the way you are supposed to live your life. Especially at work, where you spend the majority of your life, ask yourself do you want to be so miserable 8 to 10 hours a day? Is that really living?  You are meant for so much more happiness. Every day. 

What can you do to move forward and feel more free and joyful without all of that heavy baggage you are carrying around?

1. Ask yourself – “How do I want to live my life today?

Instead of making a To Do list, replace it with your ‘To Be’ list.  My friend and author, Starla J. King, talks about how having and following a To Be list is so much more rewarding that just checking off those chores every day.  Write down how you want to feel and behave today – angry, tired, or sad?  Or grateful, curious and giving?

When you look at it this way, the answer is a no-brainer – right?

2. Be bold and let it go.

We get stuck in our routines, those known things that somehow give us comfort because we do them a lot and know what to expect.  Do one thing differently today. You have heard me encourage you before to Be Bold. And I have gotten so many comments on how just changing one little thing – like stopping your self from complaining about the boss or the coffee, or being more patient with a co-worker or child that annoys you – can give you a new feeling of freedom and lightness.  Let go of those habits that no longer serve you. Add some new ones that will recharge your energy. You will love the feeling.

3. Unpack your bags

Take a little inventory of how much useless, emotional stuff you really have with you every day, and night too.  Have a little notebook or use your mobile device to jot down the things that come up each day: what annoys you, sets you off, makes you sad, or angry or keeps you frozen from doing what you want?

Is it that other people have so much more than you and you feel frustrated or left out?

Are others asking too much and you can’t say no and it makes you angry?

Do you do things you don’t want to and then resent it?

You get the picture.  As you write this down, every day you will start to see a pattern. These loaded,  emotional words that drain you will pop out.  And these are the ones you want to unpack.

First be aware of how you are feeling and then choose to react differently – in a more loving and nourishing manner to both yourself and others. Pretty soon your bags will be so much lighter and just filled with the ‘essentials’ you need to move through your life more happily! Your new journey awaits you – starting today!

Is it your time for a new career or job? Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different? You may be in a life-transition – divorce, empty-nester, retiring, or even lost your job. Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in personal career coaching, programs and workshops developed just for you.

Come join me for a complimentary personal ‘retreat’ where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html   Everyone needs a little help sometimes.

Originally posted 2/2/2015

So many people made lofty resolutions for a career or job change this year. By February, most have already abandoned those new year promises, mostly because the goals were vague, you don’t know where to start – it all feels like just too much effort and it is so much easier to stay where you are.

Here is my question for you – if you project yourself out to the end of this year, how you will feel if you don’t take any steps to make a change or get more enjoyment out of your current job? Will you be disappointed? Frustrated? Upset with your lack of progress? If so, now is the time to get clear and get into action to make that change you want and need.

Step 1:

Analyze what you like and dislike about your current job or career.  Make a list of pros and cons – I know it sounds elementary but it is critical for you to have an inventory of what you love and what frustrates you.

Review that list for anything that jumps out and really tugs at your heart. Put a big circle around it and move it to the top of your list. Those words are real clues for you to follow on your search for more fulfillment in your work.

Step 2:

Take the information you outlined and analyze what you need to do to correct it.

For example, if your boss is driving you crazy, you just can’t do anything right, be honest about how, or if, the situation can change for the better. Can you have a talk with them and ask them what needs to be done to improve? If not, how can you change YOUR reaction to the boss? You can only change what you feel, not their behavior. Sometimes this little step will not only give you more satisfaction, but it will also be noticeable to others. And your work environment may just have gotten better.

If a discussion doesn’t work, be honest and see if it is time for a job or career change. Get help and support in thinking this through and planning out this change. Treat it like a project – set goals, timelines and what support you need to move forward. Give yourself permission to get outside expertise from a coach or career consultant.  You can’t do it all alone!

Step 3:

Take full responsibility for where you are and where you want to be. Now is the time to stop blaming others, like the boss, the company culture, your co-workers, etc., for making you unhappy. You are 100% responsible for how you feel. A tough lesson but once you accept it, you will feel so free. Let go of your feelings and behaviors that no longer serve you. Put the past in the past. Keep an eye on right now and in your future. It starts right now- with you.

Be honest about what part you play in your unhappiness with your work – I’m not saying it is not real or not valid. I am saying that only you can make it change.  Believe in yourself, in your abilities and know that there is a support system out there to help you. You CAN!

Take one little step towards making this year truly fulfilling for your work and career. Wishing, hoping, whining and complaining will not get you happiness. Only planning, action and knowing you CAN do it will bring you more joy. (Thoughtful prayers help too!).  Each action pushes you forward a little more and soon you will have a plan for liking your work more, or for moving on.

In my next blog and newsletter, I will give you more ideas on how to enjoy the work where you are now, and how to get the support you need to really be happier in your work.

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Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you in a life-transition – divorce, empty-nester, retiring, lost your job? Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you.

Come join me for a complimentary personal ‘retreat’ where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

 

Originally posted 12/3/2014

Each new day gives us a fresh start to do something different on our path to being our Best Self. I am reminded that so much of our day is spent in Trance. You know – we drive from one place to the next and have no idea how we got there.  We put something away and a few hours later we don’t remember where it is.

It gets a little scary sometimes – is my mind starting to go? Is this what it is like to get older? I read once that being forgetful as we age is really due to the fact that we have so much more stuff stored in our brains it just takes longer for us to find it. I really like that explanation.

More importantly than forgetting things, I am really talking about how we drift through our day without conscious thought. How much of this do you do?

– interact with a someone is a store without making eye contact?

– have a phone call while checking your email?

– checking your text messages when having lunch with someone?

– making decisions with thinking through the consequences?

Sometimes we barely register what the other person is saying on a phone call – our voice tones really reflect our lack of engagement. We unconsciously treat wait-staff like they barely exist. We give them an order, don’t look up, and then when we need something, can’t even remember what they look like!

We make fast decisions because we are just too overwhelmed to spend the time to think through them.  A wise mentor of mine once told me to always think through the outcome of the outcome.  If I make this decision, whom and what else will be affected? It is a really powerful question to ask yourself. It always produces better answers and decisions. This is an immediate way to get out of auto-pilot.

When we drift through our lives, not only do we miss out on truly being connected, but others miss out as well.  How does your indifferent voice tones or lack of human connection affect the other human being you are involved with, even if that connection is only for a few minutes? Are you telling them they don’t have much value to you, or that you are more important than they are? Is that your intent? If not, stay awake.

Our voice and body language have tremendous effects – and it only takes the same amount of     
         energy to really engage as it does to be indifferent. Watch and listen for how people react to      
         you. Your message gets reflected back. Be aware of the feedback so that you can be alive
every single day.

Live this week in full awareness, not in a trance. You can give the gift of yourself every time you come in contact with others. Be fully aware of your output, your behavior, your energy. Make sure what you are giving others is the best that you can do and the best that you can be. This is also the ultimate gift to yourself.

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Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you in a life-transition – divorce, empty-nester, retiring, lost your job? Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 

Come join me for a complimentary personal ‘retreat’ where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html