Marybeth, Author at The International Center for Women's Leadership

“Celebrate What You Want More Of”

Originally posted 8/4/2015

toes-in-the-water I was organizing my desk and an old envelope fell out of some papers I had put aside. On it, I found this quote – written hastily, most likely at an airport waiting for a plane to places unknown. It was of particular interest to me today – a beautiful summer day filled with sun and beach – and I am trying to decide how I will approach the day. I know I need to focus on my work but my restless-self want to run out to the ocean. Or look for the incredible butteries on the flowers outside and clouds floating in the bright blue sky.

I found my answer in these words written on that paper scrap:
“Celebrate what you want to do more of.”

Tom Peters. So I decided to spend the day celebrating that I am able to write today and to get the word out about my business of helping women transition back into the workplace and that I am happy about the wonderful women whom I have connected with over this past year. Maybe I will even be content to stay in my office! I found that focusing on the important things helps to center me and stay focused on what I need to do. I want to do more of these things – it makes me feel good, that I have accomplished something and that it brings joy to others as well. I want more of that!

If you find yourself restless, distracted, longing to do something (or anything other than what you are doing), and you really want to celebrate more of what you want, I have found that this helps:

1. Have a very focused list of what you must get done right now and today. Set time limits, get it done and check it off. That is a really good feeling to cross it off the list.

2. Have a ‘TO BE” list. How do you want to feel right now? For the rest of the day? Then choose and decide that is how you want to live your life today. Celebrate how you want to be today. This is even more important than your To Do list.

3. Celebrate what you are doing – choose those things and people that make you happy. Do a great job on that report you need to finish. write that blog. Help someone out who is struggling. Turn on some music that makes you feel good, dance a little (or a lot), have some food that tastes so delicious (sweet summer cherries or cold ice cream), stick your toes in the water. Give someone a hug. Be grateful. Whatever it is that you want more of!

What do You want more of? How are you celebrating today?

Re-Examine Re-Launch Re-Enter

Are you a woman in transition who finds herself wanting, or needing, to return to the workplace after taking a break? You may be in a life-transition – divorce, suddenly single, empty-nester, retiring, or even have lost your job. You need support – now.

Finding a job in 2015 is not the same as it used to be five or ten years ago. Everything is changing and you need to have the latest information, strategies and action plan at your fingertips so you can re-launch yourself and re-enter the workplace. I can help you do that!

Come join me for a complimentary personal ‘exploration session’ where we can review options and ideas to help you in your transition.

Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html Everyone needs a little help sometimes. It is your turn now. Connect with me at : marybeth@icwop.com

By Marybeth Leave a Comment

Laughing With Yourself

Originally posted 4/17/2015

I’ve been parallel parking all of my driving-life but this morning I was meeting a coaching client and had to find a spot on a busy street. There were two places and both looked plenty big enough to fit in. I tried the first one – I lined up and then hit the curb. I tried it again –after four attempts I gave up and moved up the block to the other larger spot. Piece of cake! I lined up again, swung in, hit the curb again and again, and again. Did the curb get bigger? Was there something in the road? I am thinking I am normally good at this but not today. I noticed that there was an older man on a bicycle waiting for me to pull in, sitting on his bike somewhat amused. I just looked at him and started laughing at myself. Then he started laughing – with a big, wide toothy grin and smiling eyes – the kind of moment when you just stop and share the how funny life can be.

I must have put on some show because my husband happened to be driving down the street in the opposite direction, was stopped at a red light, and saw what was happening. He later told me that traffic was backed up behind me, people were laughing and he started laughing too. You never know how our little moments and challenges can make someone else happy, even if just for a minute.

What could have been an exercise in frustration or embarrassment, instead turned into such a happy and perfect moment?

So I asked myself why I so easily slipped into joy, instead of impatience or frustration?
Lately, I have been making more of a conscious effort to do these three things:

1. Take in things as they come – be accepting, not angry or impatient

2. Be aware of what IS going on and find the goodness in it

3. Stop being so hard on myself (and others).

I think this was a moment when conscious awareness turned into unconscious response. I know that if we practice being more joyful, and less uptight and intense, good feelings just start to happen naturally. Our bond with each other in is our words and behaviors. They are totally contagious so let’s make them be the very best one we have. Laugh each day – a very good way to “pass it forward”.

Is it time for a new career or job? Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different? You may be in a life-transition – divorce, empty-nester, retiring, or even lost your job. Is it time to start a new chapter? If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time to write and live the story of the life YOU want. Let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next. I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in personal career coaching, programs and workshops developed just for you.

Come join me for a complimentary personal ‘retreat’ where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey. Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html Everyone needs a little help sometimes. It is your turn now.

By Marybeth Leave a Comment

Women’s History Month – Time To Start Making Your Own History

Originally posted 3/5/2015

woman-in-feild-of-flowers March is Women’s History Month. Here at The International Center for Women, we are dedicated to serving women all over the world, and I will be highlighting women and their incredible capacity and resilience this month. I know their stories will inspire you to rediscover your best self and make your own history.

This week I will start with honoring Janet Echelman, artist and sculptor, who changed the ordinary into the extraordinary but considered herself an “unlikely person” to create what she did. But she went ahead anyway. And created such amazing, moving art that delights and amazes people on almost every continent because she did not let the ‘un-likely’ part get in the way of what she was gifted to do. Because of the, she was able to share her Best Self with the world.

How many of us consider ourselves to be unlikely, un-available, un-trained, un-talented? We need to delete the ‘un’ part of these words which we tell ourselves and others. Many times they are excuses for being scared or unwilling to do something new. We tell ourselves that it is ok to stay in our comfort zone. But many times it is not. And over time it becomes not only boring but terribly sad to see all of our potential ‘un-used’.

You may have read some of my blogs before where I talk about the potential and capacity within us. I am SO amazed at how much raw ability, talent, willingness and energy we have inside of us, especially as women. March is a perfect time to acknowledge our capacity and use the desires and talents we have within. Promise yourself and make a plan that you will commit to re-discovering (or discovering for the first time) all that you have within you.

In her first TED talk*, Janet says “I didn’t know where to begin but I said Yes!” Give your self-permission to say “Yes!” to doing something you really want to do – to that little voice within that encourages you to learn more, to take a risk, to choose a decision to be happier.

This is the perfect time to say “Yes!’ and to take action in creating the amazing history of your own life.

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It is your turn to write the story of the life you want. Is it time for a new career or job? Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different? You may be in a life-transition – divorce, empty-nester, retiring, or even lost your job. Is it time to start a new chapter? If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next. I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in personal career coaching, programs and workshops developed just for you.

*You can watch Janet Echleman’s amazing talk at http://www.ted.com/talks/janet_echelman?language=en

By Marybeth Leave a Comment

Too Much Baggage To Hold Onto

Originally posted 2/18/2015

You-Can't-Reach There was a small article on one of the news feeds which had some tips about traveling light. It talked about leaving those extra ten hair products, and those seven pairs of shoes you will never wear, at home. After all, you are on vacation – travel light!

It got me to thinking about all of the extra baggage many people carry around every day. We stuff our emotional luggage with that hurtful thing one of our girlfriends did to us 5 years ago. Or that failed relationship or marriage and how unfair it was and how terrible that person was to you. We fill up the bags with resentment for someone who got a promotion that you thought should be yours. The workplace becomes something to dread. Add some envy for that beautiful new house your best friend just bought.

We can’t live fully in the present or even move forward with the tons of ‘stuff’ we choose to carry around. We can keep piling it up inside of us and at some point, it becomes toxic and we start to be bitter, jealous, and really unhappy.

But we do have another choice. We can instead use these life lessons, no matter how small, to learn how to move on and create a better you and a better life. I always wonder what the point is of re-hashing over and over all of the bad stuff. No one really wants to hear your sad story all of the time – in fact, I don’t think that even you want to hear your own tale of woe again and again, but you are not sure how to stop yourself. And so that baggage keeps getting heavier to the point that sometimes you get paralyzed in your own sadness and memories. And a few events can turn you into a bitter and unhappy person. That is not the way you are supposed to live your life. Especially at work, where you spend the majority of your life, ask yourself do you want to be so miserable 8 to 10 hours a day? Is that really living? You are meant for so much more happiness. Every day.

What can you do to move forward and feel more free and joyful without all of that heavy baggage you are carrying around?

1. Ask yourself – “How do I want to live my life today?

Instead of making a To Do list, replace it with your ‘To Be’ list. My friend and author, Starla J. King, talks about how having and following a To Be list is so much more rewarding that just checking off those chores every day. Write down how you want to feel and behave today – angry, tired, or sad? Or grateful, curious and giving?

When you look at it this way, the answer is a no-brainer – right?

2. Be bold and let it go.

We get stuck in our routines, those known things that somehow give us comfort because we do them a lot and know what to expect. Do one thing differently today. You have heard me encourage you before to Be Bold. And I have gotten so many comments on how just changing one little thing – like stopping your self from complaining about the boss or the coffee, or being more patient with a co-worker or child that annoys you – can give you a new feeling of freedom and lightness. Let go of those habits that no longer serve you. Add some new ones that will recharge your energy. You will love the feeling.

3. Unpack your bags

Take a little inventory of how much useless, emotional stuff you really have with you every day, and night too. Have a little notebook or use your mobile device to jot down the things that come up each day: what annoys you, sets you off, makes you sad, or angry or keeps you frozen from doing what you want?

Is it that other people have so much more than you and you feel frustrated or left out?

Are others asking too much and you can’t say no and it makes you angry?

Do you do things you don’t want to and then resent it?

You get the picture. As you write this down, every day you will start to see a pattern. These loaded, emotional words that drain you will pop out. And these are the ones you want to unpack.

First be aware of how you are feeling and then choose to react differently – in a more loving and nourishing manner to both yourself and others. Pretty soon your bags will be so much lighter and just filled with the ‘essentials’ you need to move through your life more happily! Your new journey awaits you – starting today!

Is it your time for a new career or job? Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different? You may be in a life-transition – divorce, empty-nester, retiring, or even lost your job. Is it time to start a new chapter? If not now, what are you waiting for?