Originally posted 7/15/2013

No matter what day of the week it is, or where you live or what work you are doing, you owe it to yourself to find a spark of joy. It is already within you somewhere.

I have somehow gathered the discipline to walk each morning – 3 miles is the goal, which is a huge deal for me, having grown up without any kind of sports or exercise discipline (the story for another blog!)

Being totally blessed to live in a small beach town, my early morning walks are now along the ocean.  It was already almost 90 degrees at 9 o’clock this morning so I walked in the water today.  After a mile or so, I just stopped and looked at the sun sparkling on the sea.  Great diamonds of light were all around, so I focused on that shine around me, and the water and shells lapping at my feet. For just those few minutes I felt transported.  In the distance I heard children at a beach camp for the day.  I watched as they ran so freely into the water yelling sheer squeals of delight (I love that word – squeal!).  Their faces were smiles from ear to ear. I thought, when was the last time as adults, we squealed over something? The last time we just ran with abandonment and felt the moment?

By just taking even a few minutes to see the joy around you, you can find that moment of joy for yourself. You don’t need to be at the beach: just stand under a tree and feel the coolness; go into a florist and take in the colors of flowers; listen to your favorite tune without interruption. Give yourself permission to sparkle.  You will find real happiness in those moments that will give you a whole new perspective on the rest of the day.

(If you would like more help on how to find your sparkle, please go to my Discovery programs at  http://www.icwop.com/program-options.html  There are many ways I can answer your questions and  support you in you journey.)

Originally posted 7/3/2013

The Fourth of July is almost upon us and there is much talk about freedom. This is a wonderful holiday filled with family, fun and, hopefully, some sunshine!  I was listening to KC Baker yesterday and one of her core teachings is about “supporting women in getting clear on what they stand for, finding the freedom to share it, and becoming known for their ideas.”  She challenges us to know that we all have the power inside of us to be free and clear and share our beliefs and passions, which led me to thinking about this concept of personal freedom.

What I believe is that we are totally free to have our feelings and thoughts and ideas. We own them, no matter what other people tell us we should be saying and doing and feeling, even in situations of great stress or oppression. We stop ourselves from accepting this very powerful gift inside of us because we either don’t believe in it or we are fearful.

I ask you – “What is stopping you from accepting that you are free inside?” 

Think about this question for a minute and write down your honest answers (you may have a short list or a long list).  Then start to peel back the reasons for these obstacles – I think you might find that there are really a whole lot of excuses as to why we won’t step forward and do what we need to do.

For example, I know a woman who, more than anything, wants to go back to college to get her degree, but she has to get her kids through school first and they don’t want her to go to college. So what is wrong with that? It will be another 10 years until they are all finished … and that is a long time to keep pushing a dream back.  Most likely it will never happen because in ten years there will be another reason. This is a great time for her to be free to express her needs and feelings and look for options, such as taking part-time classes. This woman, like many of us, has given up her personal freedom to decide what she wants and instead has let her kids call the shots- at the expense of her dreams.

Looking for options and taking away excuses are two great ways to allow you to be free to choose what you want and need and how you feel. As my incredible business and life coach, Lorin Beller tells me: “Keep Choosing.  Ask yourself: am I choosing powerful or am I choosing being powerless.”

This freedom is what will move you along your path of happiness and purpose so your inner joy will shine through.

So enjoy this Fourth of July!  Honor those that served us as you also honor yourself and your needs and your dreams.

(I have much more information for you on this topic. To find out more on how to design your own life and find what fulfills you, please go to my Discovery Programs Page now at  http://www.icwop.com/program-options.html)

Originally posted 6/3/2014

“If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.” Anita Roddick  (Founder of The Body Shop)

You know how it is – sometimes you just connect with another human being. You feel their energy – it inspires you, makes you smile and be joyful, and gives you such a positive jolt.  The opposite is also true – how a rude or indifferent remark can sting you.  These impacts can happen in a millisecond.

Which leads me to a question – what message, what energy are you putting out there to others? Do you realize that you affect others in unknown and unconscious ways?  Just a tiny interaction – a smile, or a frown, a word of encouragement or scorn, has untold effects on others.  Many times you never even realize what impact you have as you deposit your energy (positive or negative) on others.  Your smallest behavior can be like that unseen mosquito which leaves a mark long after it leaves.

We are all so caught up in our own feelings and issues. I sense that we are moving towards such an inner focus that we miss so much around us.  Our culture emphasizes ‘me’, and has a continuous stream of contests and competitions as to who is best and who is worthless. It becomes a lot about how does this affect me; how can I win at this; how can I outshine everyone else, without taking in to account how our actions and words affect those around us, people who could truly be helped by even the simplest thing that we say or do.

I am sure you have heard the quote “At the end of the day, I would rather be kind than right.” At our deepest level, it is kindness, and honesty and helping others that really makes a difference in all of our lives. So if you want to impact others in a positive way, It starts with awareness – get out of the space inside your head, stop playing your old records all the time, feel what energy you have and are giving off.

We complain about how no one listens to us, ignores us, blows us off.  Do you do the same? We long for meaningful relationships with others – be it at the grocery store, our workplace, walking down the street or in our personal lives. To have truly authentic interactions, instead of asking “What’s in it for me?”, ask different questions of yourself:

–       What does the other person need?

–       How am I treating them – my voice tones, my eye contact, my attention?

–       What message am I really conveying to them?

–       How will they (and I) feel after our interaction is over?

My friend Starla J. King has a wonderful book called ‘Wide Awake Every Day’, which I so highly recommend and treasure.  In one of her stories, she talks about being “In Uniform.”  She asks, “ What do our emotions, facial expressions, thoughts and actions suggest about your inner state and your consideration of those around you?”   Those words – ”in consideration of those around you” really caught my attention. Starting with today be ‘in consideration of others’.

                Here is one of my favorite quotes in the world -“I’ve learned that people will forget what          
                         you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget 
                                               how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou.

You can mechanically move on to something or someone else, or pause to be aware of how you impact others. I encourage you to be your best self. A tiny effort of awareness on your part will leave a lasting and wonderful effect on someone.

So go out today, and each day, and make them (and you) feel good.

 

Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different? Are you not working in your best space and want to feel more alive and fulfilled in your work? Is it time to renew your spirit?  

If yes, let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can help you find answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 

Come join me for a free personal ‘retreat’ where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

Originally posted 5/28/2013

Many of us have had, or have known, children graduating from college.  There was so much joy through all those years of seeing our children grow up, and now we suddenly watch them step into their own new post-college worlds. It is amazing to see the transformation they have all gone through and to think about the new life they have in front of them!

Coincidentally (or perhaps not), I came across a video from Marie Forleo about Feeling Lost that really got my attention. “Lost” was, in a way, how I was feeling about graduation.  Throughout the happiness, there was also something going on that was so unexpected – I was off balance, knowing that we are entering into another transition, another new world.

It is so hard letting our children go.  Not that we ever fully do “let them go,” but the pomp and circumstance of the commencement” ceremony really brings home that this is a significant, life-changing event.

Now I am faced with how to enjoy this next phase of our family’s journey.  I imagine there are many of you in this same situation – be it high school or college graduation, becoming grandmothers, suddenly becoming caretakers,  taking early retirement, or some other life-changing event — it seems that so many of us are in a great upheaval and transition.

So I am looking back to what helped me through my past great challenges in life, and I offer you some of the most important lessons that I learned on not only how to cope, but to also grow and understand that life’s changes can also bring much joy:

1. Understand and accept that you cannot control every outcome.  About 18 months ago, while going through a personal crisis, David Ji (then with the Chopra Center advised me to focus on what I couldcontrol.  What a relief to know I wasn’t in control of everything and could just let some things go!

2. Accept help from others.  There are real life “angels” all around, ready to give you just what you need at the moment. Get outside of your feelings and be open to help, which is in front of you. As my cousin always says, “Accept graciously.”

3. Be grateful. Accept and know inside that the change you are going through is all for a reason, and there are transformative life lessons to be learned. Also consider that your challenges and transitions are not only about what is happening to you but that, somehow, others would benefit from your experience as well.

4. Be Curious. Ask yourself “I wonder what will happen if…?”

Be childlike in your curiosity; it will move you to places of joy if you allow it.

When you feel lost in these times of transition and upheaval, remember these 4 lessons,  and you will already be well on your way to being found.