How Do You Find Your Best Self?

 

It is quite a dreary day outside – we are on day 4 of the remnants of Hurricane Ian. The storm has stalled and is dumping many inches of rain, with an incessant wind swirling around, and a constant heavy, dark gray sky. I know we are very lucky and can’t compare what is happening here to the destruction in Florida. I am asking myself, so how can I be my best self today, despite the storm?

That is certainly a metaphor for the storms that come into our lives. As I reflect this, I am looking back on my life and knowing that my best self came out of the depths of my personal tragedy. 5 years ago my husband died after a long illness and 30 years of love together. We spent the prior 4 years in and out of hospitals seeking the best care and hoping for recovery. I remember one day being worn out, in the sterile, cold hospital room, anxiously waiting on test results, looking at him lying there and knowing deep inside that this is where I needed to be, not in a meeting or on a phone call. I consciously made the decision to shut down the business and be there for him. I wanted to look back and have no regrets. I knew I needed to be with him and love him everyday. I knew there would be financial consequences to not working but I felt that I didn’t care and felt things would work out in terms of my work, which it did. That was my best self, making a conscious choice.

In tough times I got to ask myself:

– What is the lesson I need to learn from this?

– How do I use my feelings of anger, grief, disappointment, fear, to be better?

– How do I get to a new place of joy?

I don’t always have the answers right away – but each day my best self is aware of how I am feeling, how I want to feel, and choosing how I want to BE today? For all of us, each day, we need to ask: how do I create some sunshine in my life and for others, despite the clouds and rain? That is our best selves!