Last week I was asked to be a guest on a podcast with Greg Sheldon, host of The Slow Down to Go Fast Podcast – Conversations with Ordinary to Extraordinary People *. I have started to do several podcasts and am getting a bit more comfortable but there still is that little voice asking myself – “Jumping off another cliff, MB?” So my self-talk became – “Yes, and it is ok. I do have a parachute.” I needed to use three techniques that I teach to my coaching clients on myself to make sure I not only had a soft landing but a happy ride along the way.
So here they are:
1. Start with Why. Simon Sinek wrote a classic book (of the same title). I learned from him that when we are clear about this, we inspire both ourselves and others to do things we may not have thought of.
My Why question to myself became – “Why was I doing this?” Because I love talking with people and sharing my learnings over the years and that I can learn something new about them and learn something new about me, and hopefully giveback to others with perhaps a little bit of inspiration. Simple as that.
2. Reframe – this is a powerful technique – it is thinking about something in an entirely new way which then changes how you feel about it. Let’s start with a very simple example – you have a lovely painting and you have two frames . The first one is bright yellow and the second one is more subtle-grey wood. When you place the painting in the yellow frame, it brightens up the entire picture. In the grey one, it is just background. So same picture, different feelings.
It is the similar when we reframe something we are doing, or something we are unsure about. I could have gotten myself down a rabbit hole being nervous or holding back or tongue-tied. I decided to do a reframe which was – “I get to meet someone new and to just talk with him one on one and not worry about how many people would listen”. That shift to “this is just a conversation with another kind and interesting person” helped me relax. It turned out that he was so gracious and thoughtful – we had an authentic connection and I felt I made a new friend. It really was joyful for me.
3. And lastly, give yourself permission to just enjoy. Stop being so serious about yourself and about everything else. Question your responses – are you so caught up in your doubts and worries that you miss the goodness? Our energy is contagious – if we are so serious and frowning or judgmental, it infects others. Take a break, have a little self-love and enjoy this very moment you have in front of you. This is living more fully.
Let me know your comments on how you live more fully and get yourself out of your the rut.
* You can enjoy the conversation with Greg Sheldon and Marybeth here:
Consciously Aware and Self Talk with Marybeth Gregg