As the remnants of Hurricane Nicole swept up the coast, the morning turned clear and bright. Only the ocean still showed the strength of the storm in the waves. The wind seemed to push the water into great wings and swells as it shot into the air. Nothing outside would stop this energy – it was it’s own power.  I had to pause my walk to watch and be grateful for this force emerging before me.

And as this was happening I couldn’t help to think that there are also amazing and powerful forces within us as well. We often tend to perhaps ignore our own power and look to others to lead us, to tell us, to ‘make us feel (bad, happy, etc.)’, rather than acknowledging that we have our own power within – we are the one to lead, to feel, to take charge of ‘me’.

So when you are tempted to feel less than, to be silent when you want speak your truth, to let others decide who or what you are to be, step back, breathe, allow your true feelings and needs to come forward.  You do have the courage within – just allow it to swell up like the waves in the sea.

 

To help you find your power, I ask you to ask yourself these questions:

What are your powers within? 

Do you allow it to come through?

If not, what is stopping you?

What do you need to allow your power and courage to come out?

 

Your ideas may help others so I would love to hear your comments.  Thank you!!

Originally posted 5/7/2013

How many times have you prepared a fight in your mind: anticipating that a clerk will give you a hard time, or someone is going to take your place in line or cut you off in traffic, and you are going to be so ready to tell her off?

You invest your mental and emotional energy getting ready to avenge this anticipated wrong that is about to happen. You will put her in her place; she is messing with the wrong person! Your heart rate is up, you are breathing deeply and the daggers are coming out of your eyes. Ah, EGO at work.

Your turn comes, and you are ready to take the gloves off for your anticipated fight. Suddenly she looks at you and smiles, and tells you “No Problem- I can take this back without a receipt,” or “I am SO sorry, I just didn’t see you there and didn’t mean to push ahead.” You are instantly deflated and diffused, and even a bit let down because you invested all that emotional energy and now don’t need to use it.

So be better than that today and use a different behavior. Stop yourself when you feel your anger rising over something that did not even happen yet, and most likely, will not.

Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Better yet, find your compassion and smile first! The outcome will be truly nourishing for you and others. You can take that same energy and use it for a more positive outcome, putting you and the rest of the world in a little bit better place.

Last week I was asked to be a guest on a podcast with Greg Sheldon, host of The Slow Down to Go Fast Podcast – Conversations with Ordinary to Extraordinary People *. I have started to do several podcasts and am getting a bit more comfortable but there still is that little voice asking myself – “Jumping off another cliff, MB?” So my self-talk became – “Yes, and it is ok. I do have a parachute.” I needed to use three techniques that I teach to my coaching clients on myself to make sure I not only had a soft landing but a happy ride along the way.

So here they are:

1. Start with Why. Simon Sinek wrote a classic book (of the same title). I learned from him that when we are clear about this, we inspire both ourselves and others to do things we may not have thought of.

My Why question to myself became – “Why was I doing this?” Because I love talking with people and sharing my learnings over the years and that I can learn something new about them and learn something new about me, and hopefully giveback to others with perhaps a little bit of inspiration. Simple as that.

2. Reframe – this is a powerful technique – it is thinking about something in an entirely new way which then changes how you feel about it. Let’s start with a very simple example – you have a lovely painting and you have two frames . The first one is bright yellow and the second one is more subtle-grey wood. When you place the painting in the yellow frame, it brightens up the entire picture. In the grey one, it is just background. So same picture, different feelings.

It is the similar when we reframe something we are doing, or something we are unsure about. I could have gotten myself down a rabbit hole being nervous or holding back or tongue-tied. I decided to do a reframe which was – “I get to meet someone new and to just talk with him one on one and not worry about how many people would listen”. That shift to “this is just a conversation with another kind and interesting person” helped me relax. It turned out that he was so gracious and thoughtful – we had an authentic connection and I felt I made a new friend. It really was joyful for me.

3. And lastly, give yourself permission to just enjoy. Stop being so serious about yourself and about everything else. Question your responses – are you so caught up in your doubts and worries that you miss the goodness? Our energy is contagious – if we are so serious and frowning or judgmental, it infects others. Take a break, have a little self-love and enjoy this very moment you have in front of you. This is living more fully.

Let me know your comments on how you live more fully and get yourself out of your the rut.

 

* You can enjoy the conversation with Greg Sheldon and Marybeth here:

Podcast

Consciously Aware and Self Talk with Marybeth Gregg

 

Being Curious and Unexpected Gifts

 

On a recent trip to the wonderful city of Amsterdam, I had arrived a few days early to enjoy the city on my own and adjust to the six-hour time change. I learned from past travels I just don’t do well flying overnight with that time zone difference and then going right into days of meetings (listening to my own self- care advice). Briefly I wondered how I would do alone over the weekend in a city I didn’t know too well, especially how I would be eating alone while the world seems to be in couples and groups. So, I took a deep breath, and decided to be curious, learn something new and just have some fun.

The weather was really good for walking around and I got right out to walk the cobblestoned streets, gazing at the incredible old houses on the beautiful canals. There were still tons of bright flowers trailing down flowerboxes and along the water. The only caution I had was not being run over by the thousands of bicycles whizzing by – I learned quickly that they had the right of way. I feel the trip was successful in a lot of ways – an important one being that I didn’t get hit!

My curiosity paid off in a way I didn’t expect. One day I found this wonderful little seafood restaurant which I wandered into. I usually have a little pang when I enter on my own and the host asks, ‘How many?” And I answer “One”. I was grateful this time that they didn’t say “JUST one?” but I learned to give them a big smile and “Yep – just me!”

I was seated and noticed, after I was almost finished with lunch, that there was another woman there eating on her own, so I got up and went over and said hello and talked about how delicious the food was – as she was also eating the oysters. We started to chat and found that we had a lot in common even though we lived on different continents – me in the US and Jane in Tanzania. We had daughters, ran our own businesses, were involved in giving back, know loss, and enjoy exploring. We agreed to meet for lunch the next day and felt we had known each other for years. It turns out she runs an incredible business running tours and safaris in Africa – something I have never done. She is also involved in Positive Impact Work – “empower(ing) crucial wilderness areas in East Africa, benefitting people and nature alike.” We talked and talked, she introduced me to her daughter who is such a talented artist, and know that I have found a wonderful new friend.

All of which bring me back to Being Curious – if I had just stayed around my hotel, not gotten out and introduced myself to others, I would not have had such a rich and nourishing experience. I encourage you to do the same – getting out of our usually comfort zone brings unexpected gifts.

(You can see Jane’s work and business at www.asiliaafrica.com)