Tips 1 – 4

December is upon us! As wonderful and magical as the holidays are, they can also be filled with stress, anxiety, exhaustion and just are sometimes “too much”.  What we truly need is a balance and ideas on how to keep the magic and joy at this time of year.

Here are the first 4 tips on bringing more joy to your holidays. I’ll be posting the next 8 over the coming weeks so stay tuned:

Pleasing others or pleasing yourself?

This is the time for you to be joyful and happy too.  If you are constantly saying yes or wanting to please others, take a break. Choose where your energy and love need to be so that you are first. You need to put on the oxygen mask first before giving away everything of you to others.

Relationships – Being Together

Step back and literally count the blessings in your life. Many of us know too well how fleeting time can be so rather than be upset with your family or friends, step back and think of just one good thing they bring to your life. You get to choose being aggravated or calm.

Relationships – Being Alone

I know too well how terribly difficult and painful it can be to lose someone dear – their presence is sorely missed especially during the holidays. Acknowledge your sorrow, and then intentionally move to being grateful for the love you did get to share.  Select a special memory or custom that makes you smile. Keep that smile.  It helps you and others!

Let It Go!

If you follow me, you know that I have talked about the powerful technique of Letting It Go! When we get overwhelmed it is time to take a pause. We can get so worked up about what we think ‘should’ happen, get twisted up in anger or concern, or disbelief about how hard life can be. Our energy then becomes so depleted. Our joy vanishes.

Take a pause  – this is critical!  Know when you are worked up – take a breath and then ask two questions: “How important is it?” and “Is this under my control?” If it is not that important and/or not in our control, you get to choose to let it go. You have that freedom of choice which allow you to choose something more nourishing and joyful.

These are the first four tips and techniques for bringing more joy and peace to your life – and to the lives of others you touch.  They are simple and powerful.  It is your choice on how you decide to respond and live each day – especially this time of year.  Take more control of your feelings and responses for a more joyful life.

 

Keep connecting for the rest of the tips and please comment on how you find more joy throughout the season.

On an early beach walk the other morning I let myself stop and gaze across to the horizon.  There were big swells and smaller waves in between.  Standing there I thought about how we can decide to run into the rough waters head on and ride them in (a bit scary for me, delightful for others), or we can wait for the mirror like water to float in so peacefully (honestly, that is my joy but it is boring to many).

We all know about the waves and currents in our lives – how people, challenges and delights come and go. About how there always are the highs and lows in our journey with some calmness in between.  We can decide we need to plunge right into our challenges, our big waves. We may get thrown around a bit but we always come through with a great story and some scrapes but always the wiser.
And there will also be times when we need to hang back, and float around a bit and take in the surroundings and relish in the much-needed calm. When we allow this stillness, our mind and soul are nourished and we can be opened up to new options and choices we would not have thought of before in all the turbulence.

What is so powerful is that we get to choose which wave we want to ride. Everyday.

 

The North Star, Polaris, is a pretty special star because unlike all the other stars in the sky, it is in the same location every night, and never wavers.  It has been guiding people for eons – it always points the same way – true north.

It reminds me of our own North Star within. That little voice – you know it – that feeling, that instinct which guides us. If we listen to it!  How many times do you have a feeling and then you ignore it and later say – if only I had listened to my gut!

It is easy to get off track – we want to please others, we want to take a short cut, we are just to distracted and need to make a decision quickly and jump right in. And we may end up regretting what we did, become disappointed or waste time and energy

When this happens just take a moment to breathe, listen and think through the important decisions. Sometimes it’s ok to just jump right in but when it really matters, a little silence will help you to hear what your true self is saying.  That is the time to be guided by your own North Star.

A few years ago I had to meet a client and the only space required that I parallel park. At some point in my life I must have forgotten how – one of those things that happens over time that you don’t know about and then one day, it suddenly becomes impossible to do.

I’ve been parallel parking all of my driving life, but one morning I was meeting a coaching client and had to find a spot on a busy street. There were two spaces and both looked plenty big enough to fit in. I tried the first one; I lined up and then hit the curb.  After four attempts, I gave up and moved up the block to the other larger spot. Piece of cake! I lined up again, swung in, hit the curb again and again, and again. Did the curb get bigger? Was there something in the road? I was normally good at this, but not today. I noticed that there was an older man on a bicycle waiting for me to pull in, sitting on his bike looking somewhat amused. I just looked at him and started laughing at myself. Then he started laughing—with a big, wide, toothy grin and smiling eyes—the kind of moment when you just stop and share how funny life can be.

You never know how your little moments and challenges can make someone else happy, even if just for a minute.

What could have been an exercise in frustration or embarrassment instead turned into such a happy and perfect moment.

So, I asked myself, why did I so easily slip into joy instead of impatience or frustration? Lately, I had been making more of a conscious effort to do these three things:

1. Take in things as they come—be accepting, not angry or impatient.
2. Be aware of what is going on and find the goodness in it.
3. Stop being so hard on myself (and others).

I think this was a moment when conscious awareness turned into unconscious response. I know that if we practice being more joyful, and less uptight and intense, good feelings just start to happen naturally. Our bond with each other is in our words and behaviors. They are totally contagious, so let’s make them be the very best we have. Laugh each day—it’s a very good way to “pass it forward.”      Excerpt from “How to Soar with a Broken Wing – Finding Tiny Moments of Joy Everyday.”