Originally posted 2/2/2015

So many people made lofty resolutions for a career or job change this year. By February, most have already abandoned those new year promises, mostly because the goals were vague, you don’t know where to start – it all feels like just too much effort and it is so much easier to stay where you are.

Here is my question for you – if you project yourself out to the end of this year, how you will feel if you don’t take any steps to make a change or get more enjoyment out of your current job? Will you be disappointed? Frustrated? Upset with your lack of progress? If so, now is the time to get clear and get into action to make that change you want and need.

Step 1:

Analyze what you like and dislike about your current job or career.  Make a list of pros and cons – I know it sounds elementary but it is critical for you to have an inventory of what you love and what frustrates you.

Review that list for anything that jumps out and really tugs at your heart. Put a big circle around it and move it to the top of your list. Those words are real clues for you to follow on your search for more fulfillment in your work.

Step 2:

Take the information you outlined and analyze what you need to do to correct it.

For example, if your boss is driving you crazy, you just can’t do anything right, be honest about how, or if, the situation can change for the better. Can you have a talk with them and ask them what needs to be done to improve? If not, how can you change YOUR reaction to the boss? You can only change what you feel, not their behavior. Sometimes this little step will not only give you more satisfaction, but it will also be noticeable to others. And your work environment may just have gotten better.

If a discussion doesn’t work, be honest and see if it is time for a job or career change. Get help and support in thinking this through and planning out this change. Treat it like a project – set goals, timelines and what support you need to move forward. Give yourself permission to get outside expertise from a coach or career consultant.  You can’t do it all alone!

Step 3:

Take full responsibility for where you are and where you want to be. Now is the time to stop blaming others, like the boss, the company culture, your co-workers, etc., for making you unhappy. You are 100% responsible for how you feel. A tough lesson but once you accept it, you will feel so free. Let go of your feelings and behaviors that no longer serve you. Put the past in the past. Keep an eye on right now and in your future. It starts right now- with you.

Be honest about what part you play in your unhappiness with your work – I’m not saying it is not real or not valid. I am saying that only you can make it change.  Believe in yourself, in your abilities and know that there is a support system out there to help you. You CAN!

Take one little step towards making this year truly fulfilling for your work and career. Wishing, hoping, whining and complaining will not get you happiness. Only planning, action and knowing you CAN do it will bring you more joy. (Thoughtful prayers help too!).  Each action pushes you forward a little more and soon you will have a plan for liking your work more, or for moving on.

In my next blog and newsletter, I will give you more ideas on how to enjoy the work where you are now, and how to get the support you need to really be happier in your work.

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Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you in a life-transition – divorce, empty-nester, retiring, lost your job? Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you.

Come join me for a complimentary personal ‘retreat’ where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

 

Originally posted 12/3/2014

Each new day gives us a fresh start to do something different on our path to being our Best Self. I am reminded that so much of our day is spent in Trance. You know – we drive from one place to the next and have no idea how we got there.  We put something away and a few hours later we don’t remember where it is.

It gets a little scary sometimes – is my mind starting to go? Is this what it is like to get older? I read once that being forgetful as we age is really due to the fact that we have so much more stuff stored in our brains it just takes longer for us to find it. I really like that explanation.

More importantly than forgetting things, I am really talking about how we drift through our day without conscious thought. How much of this do you do?

– interact with a someone is a store without making eye contact?

– have a phone call while checking your email?

– checking your text messages when having lunch with someone?

– making decisions with thinking through the consequences?

Sometimes we barely register what the other person is saying on a phone call – our voice tones really reflect our lack of engagement. We unconsciously treat wait-staff like they barely exist. We give them an order, don’t look up, and then when we need something, can’t even remember what they look like!

We make fast decisions because we are just too overwhelmed to spend the time to think through them.  A wise mentor of mine once told me to always think through the outcome of the outcome.  If I make this decision, whom and what else will be affected? It is a really powerful question to ask yourself. It always produces better answers and decisions. This is an immediate way to get out of auto-pilot.

When we drift through our lives, not only do we miss out on truly being connected, but others miss out as well.  How does your indifferent voice tones or lack of human connection affect the other human being you are involved with, even if that connection is only for a few minutes? Are you telling them they don’t have much value to you, or that you are more important than they are? Is that your intent? If not, stay awake.

Our voice and body language have tremendous effects – and it only takes the same amount of     
         energy to really engage as it does to be indifferent. Watch and listen for how people react to      
         you. Your message gets reflected back. Be aware of the feedback so that you can be alive
every single day.

Live this week in full awareness, not in a trance. You can give the gift of yourself every time you come in contact with others. Be fully aware of your output, your behavior, your energy. Make sure what you are giving others is the best that you can do and the best that you can be. This is also the ultimate gift to yourself.

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Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you in a life-transition – divorce, empty-nester, retiring, lost your job? Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 

Come join me for a complimentary personal ‘retreat’ where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

Originally posted 9/2/2014

Have you ever had someone ask you a question that made you stop in your tracks and think – “wow! I never thought of that! “  A dear friend posted one of those questions to me: “What do you do on the days when you can’t find the joy?”    All of us have had those kind of times when you have just had it, when you want to run away, when you say  “Why me, God, and No More!”  Many of us have more than our fair share of hard times, of loss, of unexpected challenges and disappointments.  It can become totally overwhelming, shutting us down and even paralyzing us from being productive or happy.  You know – the kind of events that make some of us just want to stay under the covers and hide.  At other times, it becomes self-destructive or fills us with anger and terror. Not a pretty state to be in. And when we go there, it is so hard to dig back out again.

I really had to think about her question long and hard.  All of the really basic, and sometimes trite, responses come out: “One day at a time.  Live in the moment. This too shall pass.”  While all true and important, they somehow feel too removed, or over-said, to do any good when you really need a springboard to that joy you so desperately need.  So what do you do?

“Joy is that pilot-light we have constantly burning deeply within, quick to grow into an intense heat when fueled by meaningful experiences.”  Starla J. King, author of “Wide Awake. Every Day. ”

Here are my best, simple ideas you can use every day – to help you be uplifted and in action and to see the sunshine again. They are little “experiences” that become truly “meaningful” and will bring more joy each day:

1. Take action – even if it is to move your body.  Lift your head and look up, get off the chair, go for a walk, take a class, listen to music that moves you. Sit outside and write your little heart out.  Start that journal. Meditate. Sing or dance. Do or see something new.

2. Set a time limit. I find this is a really effective way to get yourself out of your funk and find some joy. Set your alarm for 30 minutes, or 10 minutes or better yet, for 5 minutes. Let go of the drama.  And when the buzzer goes off, get up and physically move yourself. Physical movement creates different chemicals and feelings in your body. Be AWARE of your feelings and how you are moving from not so good took to maybe even great. It is pretty amazing once you focus in on it and feel the changes taking place inside of you.

2. Find support. You CANNOT do this alone.  By yourself, you get stuck in the space between your ears – just you and your negative thoughts and feelings that tend to feed upon each other.

Reach out for a support team – a trusted friend, a life coach, a counselor, someone from the clergy – whomever you feel comfortable with, someone you trust who help you to laugh a little and move on.

3. Do one or ten things that make you smile.

4. Do one or ten things that make someone else smile.

4. Reach out and find someone who needs help and then help them.

5. Treat yourself to a little joy – a piece of chocolate, looking at photos that make you smile, calling a friend, watching a favorite movie, listening to wind chimes or a seashell, smelling flowers. Use all of your senses.

6. Repeat items 1 – 5 as needed. Be committed and dedicated to being in joy every day.

By taking these simple actions, you start to get rid of your feelings and behaviors that no longer serve you and you then will build a new habit which nourishes you and others.

We all have, and will have, incredible challenges and not-so-fun times. There is always beauty in a storm. It is up to us to lift up our eyes to find it. And yes, it is not so hard when you know what to do. Joy is closer than you think – it really is inside of you. Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different? Are you not working in your best space and want to feel more alive and fulfilled in your work? Is it time to renew your spirit?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time and let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 

Come join me for a complimentary personal ‘retreat’ where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

“Wide Awake. Every Day”  Starla J. King. 2013  Little Big Bay Company LLC. Available on Amazon.

Originally posted 7/22/2014

Most days we must be somewhere, be doing something, or try to be someone we may not want to be.  How many times do we just find a rock, perch ourselves and allow our lives to take a time-out with nowhere to go and nothing to do?

On my morning walk, this plump seagull was just standing around watching the water ebb and flow. I thought how enriched our lives will be if we would just take even 10 or 15 minutes a day to drink in the world around us.  It doesn’t need to be at the beach.  To look up at the sky, or find a quiet spot like a church or museum.  To sit on a bench in the park. To listen to the sound of laughter and children playing.  You can feel what will bring you peace if you just surrender to life around you.

So how will you make this happen?  Make a small promise to yourself and say “I MUST”, or better yet, put it right in the present with “I AM.”  For example, “I am getting up from my desk and looking at the sky.  I am taking a quick walk to breathe in the air outside and clear my head.”  You know what to do.  Make a little list of two or three things if you need. The important part is to do it.

Find your own rock where you can perch and just ‘be.’  I promise you will smile more today as you find little joys all around you. Your thoughts will be clearer, you will be inspired or even inspire and bring joy to others.  Now that is a good day.